GOING ON 30 YEARS; MAYOR’S, MIND TRAP. (ca. 1986 – 2017)

6 Mar

Trapped with nowhere to turn and life is changing; as, my once chestnut colored hair now; graying fall, on the keyboard of the computer.   And, tools changing as where to get ice when getting a soda at the B-king; where, at one time it was a separate machine and prices increases.

Changes beyond my control causing this deep aching in the bottom of my soul and then is someone else pulling the strings; “Oh to fly on wing escape” if only of a vacation to my youth.

I, wanting to dig myself out; filled with despairs of my youth, filled with doubt of age, muted; not able to express this ever growing pain that has accumulated over these so many years and feeling of relentless distress; tears, that are not visible to the naked eyes and silent screaming that no one  can hear.

And I trying to speak; but, nothing reverberates or can express this feeling of sadness and worthlessness of not attaining this my lives goal to be mayor of Lewiston, Maine.

Emotional pain; has walked with me, through these days, months, years and sleeps with me with open mind through the night; leaving me depleted; with no strength; but, to follow through to fight anger of rejection, ridicule and butt of jokes for having the courage to turn-thing this-way-and-that, too, open eyes and to enlighten the masses.

Me anchored; to this remorse encompassed in joy; not able to unite the bonds of humanity; but chained to this task and course by what I believe destiny.

Is it false pride; the creator affliction on me; of almost 30 years that rules supreme and makes me fixated on the task of being Mayor of Lewiston, Maine.

Peace, silence and rebirth I shall obtain: as, in first love or a child in their mothers arms.

For this is what I need to make me whole; not apathy, what I need is for everyone to vote your at the polls in November and realize there are no strings attached or special interest attached.   But, just giving and generosity and putting the joy back in life and softly expressing a new deal for the American and Lewiston, Maine’s public.


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