All Jokes created by: Mr. Charles Arthur Soule’
1. A leggy girlfriend; passes me on a small razor motorcycle with her legs spread high and wide.
I yell, “Honey you never spread your legs like that for me.”
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2. A good looking woman walks into church breakfast late every Sunday; for, real.
She states to the group eating breakfast, ” I set my alarm clock; and, I still am late ” !
I state, ” Next Sunday; I will wake you up; and, shut off the alarm clock on my way out. “
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3. Someone at the table said the cigarette Marlboro man died.
You know the one on the Cowboy billboard for the advertising Marlboro Cigarettes.
I said, ” What, he died falling of his horse. He stated, ” No, he died of lung cancer and then fell off his horse.
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4. In the William (Bill) Clinton’s presidency; the only one glad to hear about the Monica incident was the house keeping staff; as, they could not figure where the stains were “coming” from in the “Oval” office.
Now, they worry; as to whats next if Hillary wins.
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5. You remember the Jewish Governor of New York; Mr. Eliot Spitzer, who paid a Prostitute $65,000.00 thousand dollars ?
Well, he takes a trip to Israel; and, as he is getting off the plane a group of reporters surround him asking, “Governor Spitzer, why $65 thousand dollars for a prostitute. His reply, “She was kosher.”
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6. A Budweiser Beer truck driver at my regular coffee stop (WEBB’S Market on Pine Street Lewiston, Maine) stated that he is paid by the load.
I stated, “I know some girls that get paid that way to.”
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7. So, I am at my favorite coffee place and a long stand friend walks in. He see that I have been out on my morning walk and collection 5 cent returnables of can and bottles.
He states that he had done that on his walk in the past and that one morning he was rolled up upon by a Police cruiser.
The Officer in the vehicle asked him what he was doing and he sated that he was bottling and canning.
The Officer then asked, “what that was in his hand?”
My friend replied, “That’s my Happy Hooker.” as he was holding onto a metal curtain rod that had been turned under to snag bottles and cans.
The Officer replied, “Oh, I have one of those at home.
My, somewhat slow thinking friend; stated; “Oh, you’re married.
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8. I, had been at church breakfast; calling the gentlemen waiters and ladies waitresses as they laugh at me.
Then, one young lady I called a waitress said, “There are three categories of waiters; Table waiters, Table waitresses and you “waiting”.
“Ho, get a life; or sense of humor.
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9. Loretta, has been a friend of mine for 16 year; and as big as her personality. And, we have been jock bantering; back and forth, for almost that period of time.
Loretta is black and last week we were bantering over her cooking me supper.
Well, she jesting stated, that, she would hang me form that tree.
So, I stated, “Loretta, that would prove that racial equality has come full circle. And proves that we; in the last fifth (50) years, have made progress in racial relations.
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10. For real; in, the news in September 2016.
We have been getting regular transmissions from out of space . . . .
Carol, at the Midtown Athletic Club ; where, I am a member at the corner of Walnut St. and Bartelett Street, in Lewiston, Maine. States, “They probably heard of Lewiston’s, Maine overly generous welfare system.”
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11. I’m seated at a table in a bar room .
My friend comes over and sits down at my table.
While, speaking I notice, that he spits every time he talk’s.
So, all that night I did not have to buy him another beer .
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12. Since, we have had a black President O’bama and if Hillary Clinton had won a women President.
I was going to run in the next presidential election cycle as a openly transgender (Pre-operational) person. Not that I am gay or any LBGT person.
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13. Hillary Clinton, turned 69; this year ! The, only thing Bill Clinton did not turn in the oval office in the White House with Ms. M. Lewisky. Or, did he ?
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14. If , Nancy Pelosi has one more Face Lift’s her vagina will be her new Naval.
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15. How, do the Chinese’s say “cunt” in their language? Tongue chow.
” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” “Ass hole”? Tongue Chow Yake.
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16. When, I was a younger man.
I would slap a man to wake him up just before a fight. Than, I would say, ” I will punch you in the nose; so, hard that your “dick” will go stiff from the blood rush.”
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17. Who was the first one to make contact to ask for Russian Help in the last Presidential Election 2016 ?
Lewiston / Auburn, Maine Newspaper Rebuttal 
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